I remember my first encounter with tantra. I was sitting in a circle of people, each with different expectations and imaginations. Some came out of curiosity, others were seeking a deeper connection with their body, and still others with their partner. However, we all had one thing in common – none of us really knew what tantra truly is.
Today, after years of practice and conducting sessions, I know that this experience is universal. Tantra is surrounded by a mist of myths, misunderstandings, and sometimes even controversies. That’s why I decided to write this article – a guide for everyone who has heard about tantra but doesn’t know where to start their adventure with this fascinating practice. It will be a short yet substantial article, I invite you to read.
What is tantra really?
Tantra is not just a sexual technique, as it is often portrayed in Western culture. It is an ancient spiritual practice that originated in India over 5000 years ago. The word “tantra” in Sanskrit means “to weave, to expand, to continue”. And that’s what it’s about – expanding consciousness and weaving connections between the body, mind, and spirit.
In its essence, tantra is a path to fully experiencing life. It teaches us that every experience – from the simplest daily activities to the most intimate encounters – can be a gateway to deeper awareness and joy.
When I work with new clients, I often hear: “But I’m not spiritual” or “I’m not flexible enough.” And I always respond the same: tantra doesn’t require you to be a yogi or a mystic. It only requires openness and a willingness to experience life in a fuller way.
Why practice tantra?
Before we move on to specific practices, let’s consider what tantra can offer you. Because although everyone comes to tantra for different reasons, the benefits it brings are universal:
Deeper connection with your own body
In our busy world, we often lose touch with our own bodies. We live in our heads, analyzing, planning, worrying. Tantra reminds us that we are physical beings and teaches us to listen anew to the signals our body sends.
I remember a client who came to me after years of chronic pain. Doctors couldn’t find a physical cause. After a few sessions of breathwork and conscious touch, she discovered that her body was storing emotional pain from a difficult breakup. When she started listening to her body, the pain began to subside.
Greater awareness of emotions
Tantra teaches us that emotions are not our enemies. Even the difficult ones – sadness, anger, fear – carry important information. Tantric practice helps us recognize emotions, accept them, and transform their energy.
Deeper intimacy in relationships
Contrary to popular belief, tantra is not just for couples. But if you are in a relationship, tantric practice can bring a new dimension of closeness. It teaches mindfulness, presence, and authentic contact – the foundations of true intimacy.
I once worked with a couple who had been together for 15 years. They thought they knew each other inside out. After the tantric workshops, they told me they discovered each other anew. “It’s like falling in love for the second time, but deeper,” said the wife.
Greater joy and pleasure
Tantra is not an ascetic practice. On the contrary – it teaches us that pleasure is a natural state to which we have a right. It helps us open up to various forms of pleasure – not only sexual but also sensual, emotional, and spiritual.
A sense of connection with something greater
For many people, tantra becomes a spiritual path. It helps to experience unity with everything that exists. This sense of connection brings deep peace and meaning.
Basic principles of tantra
Before we move on to specific practices, it’s worth knowing a few basic principles that underpin tantra:
1. Everything is energy
In tantra, we believe that everything – our bodies, emotions, thoughts – is a form of energy. This energy can flow freely or be blocked. Tantric practices help release blocked energy and direct it where it is needed.
2. There is no division into “good” and “bad”
Tantra rejects dualistic thinking. It does not divide experiences into “good” and “bad,” “pure” and “impure.” Everything can be a path to greater awareness if we approach it with mindfulness. Here it is worth adding that the division of “good” and “bad” can be replaced with the question of whether it is beneficial or not?
3. The body is a temple
In tantra, the body is not an obstacle on the spiritual path but a tool for transformation. That’s why it’s so important to treat it with respect and care.
4. Breath is the bridge
Breath connects the body with the mind. It is also the simplest tool for changing the state of consciousness. That’s why we pay so much attention to it in tantra.
5. Presence is the key
Tantra teaches being here and now. Only in the present can we fully experience life.
First steps in tantric practice
If these principles resonate with you, you might be wondering how to start tantric practice. Here are a few simple exercises you can do alone or with a partner:
Conscious breathing
Start with the simplest practice – conscious breathing. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Don’t change it, just observe. Notice how the air enters your nostrils, fills your lungs, and exits.
After a few minutes, start deepening your breath. Inhale air into your belly, then into your chest. Exhale in reverse order – first from the chest, then from the belly. Imagine that with each inhale, you take in life energy, and with each exhale, you release tension.
Practice for 5-10 minutes a day. Over time, you’ll notice that this simple ritual brings deep peace and greater body awareness.
Sensory meditation
Tantra teaches us that the senses are gateways to deeper experiences. This meditation will help you open those gates.
Choose one sense to focus on. It could be sight, hearing, touch, taste, or smell. For 5-10 minutes, immerse yourself completely in experiencing through this sense.
For example, if you choose hearing, close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you. Notice those close and distant, loud and quiet. Don’t judge them, just experience.
If you choose touch, you can gently stroke your skin or touch different textures around you. Pay attention to subtle differences in sensations.
This practice teaches mindfulness and opens you to the richness of experiences that often escape our attention.
Tantric hand massage
This simple ritual can be done alone or with a partner. If you’re doing it with a partner, remember that communication is key – ask what is pleasant and express your preferences.
Prepare a warm massage oil (it can be regular coconut or almond oil). Sit comfortably opposite your partner or alone in a quiet place.
Start with a deep breath. If you’re with a partner, synchronize your breath – inhale and exhale together.
Apply a small amount of oil to your hands and start massaging – your hand or your partner’s hand. Start with gentle stroking, then move on to massaging each finger from base to tip. Pay attention to the spaces between the fingers. Massage the center of the palm in circular motions.
All the while, be aware of your breath and sensations. Notice the temperature, the texture of the skin, the tensions that are relaxing.
This simple ritual can be a profound experience of intimacy and mindfulness.
Myths and misunderstandings about tantra
In conclusion, I would like to dispel some common myths about tantra:
Myth 1: Tantra is only about sex
As I mentioned earlier, tantra is much more than sexual techniques. It is a holistic spiritual practice that encompasses all aspects of life. Sexuality is one of them, but not the only one.
Myth 2: Tantra is only for couples
Tantra can be practiced alone, with a partner, or in a group. Many tantric practices are individual meditations and rituals.
Myth 3: Tantra requires special abilities
You don’t need any special abilities to practice tantra. All it takes is openness and a willingness to experience.
Myth 4: Tantra is contrary to other beliefs
Tantra is not a religion and does not require renouncing other beliefs. Many people combine tantric practice with Christianity, Buddhism, or other spiritual traditions.
How to continue tantric practice?
If these first steps have intrigued you and you want to delve into tantric practice, you have several options:
Books and online materials
There are many valuable books and online courses on tantra. Look for those that present tantra in a holistic way, not focusing solely on the sexual aspect.
Workshops and individual sessions
Nothing replaces learning under the guidance of an experienced teacher. Tantric workshops are not only an opportunity to learn new practices but also to meet like-minded people.
If you prefer a more individual approach, you can opt for one-on-one sessions. This form of work allows you to tailor practices to your individual needs and pace.
Regular practice
Regardless of the form of learning you choose, the key to reaping the benefits of tantra is regular practice. Even 10 minutes a day can bring noticeable changes in your life.
Summary
Tantra is an ancient path that leads to a deeper experience of life in all its aspects. It teaches us that every experience – from the simplest daily activities to the most intimate encounters – can be a gateway to greater awareness and joy.
Tantric practice does not require special abilities or sacrifices. It only requires openness and a willingness to experience life in a fuller way.
If you feel that tantra might be for you, I encourage you to take the first step. It could be one of the practices described in this article, reading a book, or attending a workshop. The most important thing is to start.
Remember that tantra is not a goal but a journey. A journey to deeper self-knowledge, greater intimacy in relationships, and fuller experience of life.
I wish you a beautiful journey.
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